The Cabin in the Woods, Battleship and Lockout

Though there is nothing intelligent in any of these three movies, they have to be seen on the big screen or not at all. The one thing they have in common is a touch of science fiction, so I have to wait until next week to see a proper story. When you combine the writing talents of Drew Goddard (Cloverfield) and Joss Whedon (Serenity etc), you are sure to come up with something interesting, and Cabin in the Woods is certainly that. Although the first two thirds seem like a rehash of so many other horror movies. It is only the unexpected final section where things are turned upside down. It is only then we realise what all the earlier mysteries are about. It was a surprise to see Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford take prominent roles but they gave a nice counterpoint to the usual dark stuff. And an unexpected cameo at the end from someone. All together, great entertainment if you like this sort of thing.

Battleship is a fairly predictable alien invasion movie, but with one difference. It is set mainly on naval warships. It is clunky, noisy, with nothing original and an awful script. But the action scenes are pretty well done and you can see where the huge budget has been spent. So again, reasonably entertaining on a big screen, but that is all.

It is 12 years since Momento and you have to hand it to Guy Pearce for the extraordinarily different roles he has played since then. In his new movie, he is unrecognisable from King Edward V111 who he played in The Kings Speech. So is he now the new Bruce Willis? There are lots of similarities, that especially reminded me of Die Hard and The Last Boy Scout. This movie is a fun rescue mission circa 2079. A pretty daft plot is saved by some entertaining banter between Pearce and Maggie Grace as the President's daughter he has to save. First time writers and directors James Mather and Stephen St. Ledger have given the film a retro feel and despite it being pretty hammy, on the huge screen at MK, it was a fun ninety minutes.

Bert Weedon RIP

Bert Weedon, who died last week,  was an inspiration to so many budding guitarists in the 1950's and 60's. His book "Play in a Day", first published in 1957,  was the manual for the electric guitar that was instrumental in  producing so many great bands and musicians. Paul McCartney said "George and I went through the Bert Weedon books and learnt D and A together".

Bert was possibly the first person to play the electric guitar in this country, having first been tought classical. This was the only tuition he could find, but always wanted to play the new American music. He was in huge demand in the 50's and 60's for recording and playing live. He even had minor hits of his own.

Bert was a staunch supporter of the Grand Order of Water Rats, a big variety charity, and for whose work Bert was awarded the OBE. He was made King Rat for 1992 and this was announced at the Annual Ball in November 1991 at which we just happened to be invited. Alison swears it was only because I was drunk that I went and obtained his autograph and had a little chat. What a great guy.

Time's Up

The hostas that I planted in containers last summer were badly damaged by snails ( I think you either have slugs or snails, and I have hardly ever seen the former). So over the winter the hostas seem to have died. However over the last few weeks they are sprouting better than ever. Looking for some protection against the darling little creatures, I found a recommendation for this copper tape that you stick to the plant pots. Whether this works or not, watch this space.

The Hunger Games, Headhunters and Pirates

A movie of two halves, The Hunger Games is an engrossing futuristic film based on the novel by Suzanne Collins. The first half is all sci fi style, with quite brilliant sets and costumes as our teenagers are prepared for a battle to the death. For the second half think Battle Royale goes to Hollywood. The notion of these young people killing each other in a contest seems highly distasteful, but director Gary Ross, who cowrote the screenplay with Collins, manages to make it all quite subtle with a little help from the censor. Thank goodness they were aiming for a 12a certificate. In the end, it succeeds so well because of the performance of Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss Everdeen. She has grown up a little since her Oscar nominated performance in Winter's Bone, and brings a refreshingly tough portrayal of a true heroine trying to survive rather than kill. There are also some interesting cameos, particularly from Stanley Tucci as the TV host, Woody Harrelson and an unrecognisable Elizabeth Banks.

Why is it that Scandinavia is currently making all the best thrillers? The latest is Headhunters from the book by Jo Nesbo. Apparently he is the top crime writer in Norway, and it is here that the story is set. With a Norwegian cast, we are treated to their gloriously impenetrable language with subtitles. Aksel Hennie plays our art thief headhunting antihero (a mass of neuroses and all because he is only 5ft 6in) who becomes entangled through both his "occupations" with a hostile killer and has to go on the run. The action sequences are terrific and are a throwback to the best of Alfred Hitchcock. Director Morten Tyldum keeps up a fast pace with twists and turns along the way. OK, there are some faults with the plot, but this will certainly be one of the best films of the year.

It takes a lot to get me out to see any animation movie. I can only think of having enjoyed WALL-E and Up over the last few years. But the reviews for Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists were excellent, and it was made by Ardman. So how could I go wrong? Quite easily. It fails because of the script. Getting Gideon Defoe to adapt his children's books about pirates for the big screen was a huge mistake. OK, there are some funny moments, but when the best of these are some visuals over the final credits, something must be wrong. The high quality cast do their best with the voices, especially (and surprisingly) Martin Freeman as No 2 and Imelda Staunton as Queen Victoria. The animation is as great as ever, and when the movie goes into action sequences, we are treated to some excellent stunts. But as I watched, I just wondered how the dialogue was so dull and awkward. It was only afterwards I found out why. What a missed opportunity for something that could have been first class.

The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox, The Woman in Black and Smut

Having enjoyed Maggie O'Farrell's After You'd Gone and her Costa winning novel The Hand That First Held Mine, I selected one of her earlier books to read next. The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox is a shocking, unsettling but gripping story about a young woman who, in 1930's Edinburgh, is left in a mental health facility for most of her life. Is she mad or disturbed or even  just a bit unusual? Esme's family do not want to know. Fast forward sixty years and Iris receives a letter that her great aunt is about to be released. How Esme's history unfolds dramatically in tandem with the present day is a testament to the writing skill of Maggie O'Farrell. Her prose is from the top drawer. But nothing could have prepared us for the devastating conclusion.

Many of the reviews of the movie version of The Woman in Black had noted how it was different to the book in many ways. So I had to find out how Susan Hill had first imagined this story in her short novel of 1983. The screenplay now seems to have taken all the events from the book and mixed them up. The result is that the novel is far superior in all respects except one. The plot would not have made it an interesting film. It relies to a large degree on the feelings of Arthur Kipps as he experiences the haunting in subtle but disturbing ways. The appearance of ghost is much, much more dramatic than the shock produced just for the filmgoer's benefit. So the book does stand on it's own very well, and demonstrates just how difficult it is sometimes to bring such a story to the screen. I have to say that the writing is not to the standard that I normally go for, and it feels quite old fashioned in some way. But it does have a good atmosphere and is a ghost story and not a horror tale, and that for me makes it a satisfying read.

Even shorter is Alan Bennett's Smut. In fact it contains just two short stories. But what they lose in length they gain in entertainment. In fact I cannot understand why he does not write more fiction. His very short story The Uncommon Reader is exquisite and his only other fiction is Four Stories (I'm guessing short again) which is on order. Back to Smut. Well, the two stories are a little naughty, but in Bennett's hands they are always subtle, witty and so much fun. They are about mature, sensible, middle class women. No surprise there. I don't read a lot of non fiction, but I can never decide which is my favourite book of all time, his Writing Home or Untold Stories.

My First Running Injury

It was all because I disobeyed orders from my coach. On Good Friday, as Alison was running the Maidenhead 10 mile race, I took myself off for a run along my normal route by the canal from Halton. I had upped my distance to five and a half miles the previous week, so I thought a three mile plus at a faster pace would be OK. It wasn't. It did not seem like I was going that much faster, but I reached the half way point two minutes earlier than my previous fastest time. It was only on the way back that I started to feel the pain in my right calf, to the point where I just had to stop. Whether it was the speed, or having to stretch to avoid a dog that was wandering over the tow path, who knows. But a calf strain is what it certainly is. That was a week ago, and there has been little improvement. So running is on hold. Alison was not impressed that I had run too fast. I will have to listen next time. (But the faster pace did seem great at the time).

The Refurbished Conservatory

It had got to the point where most of the glass roof panels to the conservatory had broken down and needed replacing. We looked at various options and finally went for the Pilkington Activ Blue that was recommended especially for conservatory roofs.

So before the installers arrived last week, I managed to paint the joists and the edge at high level, something I had avoided ( and was not really necessary) before. The new glass has a slight blue tinge, more obvious from outside than in. But it looks really good, and far nicer than the misted panels we had before.

This week I made the effort to clean all the rest of the white paintwork, and cleaned the windows inside and out. I have to say that the conservatory has never looked as pristine as it does now since the day it was installed fifteen years ago.

Emotionally Weird, Rules of Civility and Hotel World

Before Kate Atkinson wrote her four highly acclaimed Jackson Brodie novels, she wrote Emotionally Weird. Whilst this book is mainly narrated by Effie (she is marooned on an isolated Scottish island and is telling her "mother, who isn't her mother" a story about her time as a student in Dundee) there is one character who is a private detective. As the strange Professor Cousins remarks "There once was a Private Dick/Who went by the name of Chick". So here is the typical and irresistible mix of human drama and crime that Atkinson has now made her trademark. Effie is a terrific story teller, and her adventures with her college friends (her boyfriend Bob sleeps most of the time) and the staff at Dundee University are always engrossing. Not only a great original comic novel, (the ancient Mrs McCue and Mrs Macbeth being fine examples of the fun to be had) but it is worth reading just for the brilliant sparkling modern language. A superb line on every page.

An even better book is Rules of Civility by first time novelist Amor Towles. Set in New York, it is a year (1938) in the life of Katy Kontent. A bright and attractive secretary to a law firm, her life is transformed when she and her friend Evie Ross meet the apparently wealthy Tinker Grey on New Year's Eve.  This is a slightly implausible introduction to the high and mighty of Manhattan, but is nonetheless highly glamorous and entertaining. Katy narrates with style and panache as can be seen from the following extracts:
"One night in April, I was standing in the Wall Street stop of the IRT, waiting to hoi polloi home. It had been twenty minutes since the previous train and the platform was crowded with hats and sighs and roughly folded afternoon editions. On the ground nearby was an overstuffed valise bound with string. But for the absence of children, it could have been a way station in the time of war."
"When Eve and I lived at the boarding house we shared our wardrobe with the other girls on the floor and we always looked smart on a Saturday night. But when I moved out, I had something of a rude awakening - I discovered all the fun clothes had been theirs. I apparently owned all the frumpy utilitarian numbers".
The sandwich: "the menu defined as unparallelled, world famous and legendary. When Tinker asked if I had ever had it, I told him I'd always found the description a little too long on adjectives and a little too short on specifics". When Katy is obtuse about her work at a law firm, Tinker retorts "You're a little too long on adjectives and short on specifics yourself".
Reading a letter from Tinker and Eve: "Really. Is there anything nice to be said about other people's vacations? I balled up the letter and threw it in the trash".
"In 1936, the great French architect Le Corbusier published a little book called When Cathedrals Were White detailing his first trip to New York........After reading that book, when you walked along Fifth Avenue and you looked up at those towers, you felt that any one of them might lead you to the hen that laid the golden eggs".
There is also one brilliant.platonic relationship she has with rich Wallace Wolcott. The most endearing and wonderful affair you could ever imagine. A truly great book.

Having been impressed by Ali Smith's prizewinning the accidental and novella Girl meets boy, I went back to an earlier novel Hotel World. Shortlisted for the Booker and Orange prizes of 2001, it does show great promise, although not an altogether easy read. The story of five interconnecting characters is each related in turn. A hotel, the accidental death of chambermaid Sara, the beggar Else on the street outside, Lise the receptionist, Penny the guest and traumatised sister Clare. Smith is undoubtedly a very talented and original writer. Her latest novel There but for the is out in hardback, so not long to wait before the paperback edition is published.

Early Bluebells

According to Kew Gardens, the appearance of bluebells is the earliest ever. They have never been seen in March before. So I took my camera with me on my walk this weekend, and here they were, tucked at the back of Wendover Woods just after crossing Hale Lane.

Before the Ridgeway turns into the woods at the end of the lane is Boswells Farm. The lambs there desperately wanted to be photographed.

My First Park Run

It was only the thirteenth time I had been out running, but Alison had persuaded me that it would be nice to do a Park Run. These are free 5K timed runs every Saturday morning at numerous venues around the country. There are 17 events in the South East and 29 in Greater London. Alison had already been to Milton Keynes and Black Park near Slough, and it was the latter where we arrived yesterday.

I had already run four and half miles on two occasions, so I felt fairly confident of managing the 5K. It was pretty chilly when the three hundred of us started off. Alison said she would pace me round with a target of under thirty minutes. I have to say that it felt really strange over the first kilometre, running with lots of people, and because  it was somewhere completely different to my normal quiet routes, I felt as if we were going far too fast. In fact that was just my imagination, and soon the pace settled down to something more comfortable.

It was a lot better after half way when we were in our own space, and I could jog along on Alison's shoulder. We actually speeded up over the last kilometre, and I was ten seconds inside the thirty minutes when we crossed the finish line. I did feel pretty shattered at the end, but that was probably due to the occasion rather than the effort. I felt a lot better after the walk through the woods to the cafe for a bacon roll and a cup of tea.

It is really interesting to see the results after we got home. Everyone has their own bar coded tags that are then input into the Park Run database. I was 204th out of 303 runners, which seemed pretty amazing for a first timer. And if I had run only a few seconds quicker, I would have been the fastest of the five men over 65. Already I am sounding too competitive, when really it is all about running for fun. Or is it?

Mounds of Moss

 With the first feed of the lawn due in a few days time, it was time to wheel out the electric lawn rake and get going with taking out the masses of moss that love my grass. On the advice of Green Thumb (who treat the lawn four times a year) I have disposed of the box that came with the rake, and gather the moss into piles instead.

 The weather has been so dry over the last few weeks, the moss came up pretty easily.

 The result is that there are fewer bare patches than there were last year in the photo below.